One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
