who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
