yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
