I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
