i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
