Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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