I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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