the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
