Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
