Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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