She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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