She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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