I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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