is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
