This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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