1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
