Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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