i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
