Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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