my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
