it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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