small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
