i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Drunk is a universal language darling
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
