I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize