Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She bit a glass in half.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
