I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
