Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
