O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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