You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
