Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
