he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
