How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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