so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
