He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
