): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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