fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
