absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
