I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
