Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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