every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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