my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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