remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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