What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
zippers are such a cool invention
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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