Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
