her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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