dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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