Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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