I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
