shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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