her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
