but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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