I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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