ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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