We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
