I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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